Lessons Read online

  "Greetings, everyone. I have some bad news for you all. Today we have a pop quiz." This was followed by the obligatory grumbling and sounds of notebooks and pens and books being taken out of bags or put on the floor. I watched with half-hearted interest. "This quiz will be over what I assigned you to read on Monday. Hopefully you all did." She smiled wickedly and walked to the first row of desks with a stack of paper in her hand. "Put this face down on your desk and don't start until I tell you, please."

  I put everything from my desk to the floor except for my pen, watched the TA as she gave the front person in our row enough tests for all of us. She licked her thumb as she tried to separate the pages, then glanced briefly at me before moving on. Within five minutes everyone had a quiz and waited for the word to start.

  "Okay, you may begin."

  I flipped the page over, afraid of what I'd find as I hadn't bothered to read the assigned pages yet. I drew my brows as I read the questions, chewing on the cap of my Bic. This isn't that bad. I quickly read through the questions, marking answers as I went, stopping to think about one before I circled A and moved on, whizzing through the material, getting lost in it until I reached the end of the sheet. I leaned back in my chair, looking at my handy work. I had no idea I had gotten through the entire 50 question quiz already. I looked around to see heads bowed as my fellow class mates worked. I set my pen down and began to chew on my lip.

  The door near the TA's desk opened, and a man walked in. He walked over to Miss Robertson and sat on the edge of the desk, looking rather suave. He was an older man, probably in his mid to upper fifties, hair graying around the sides of his head, skin tan probably from hours of golf. He looked like one of those types. His white dress shirt was unbuttoned just enough to show off the gold chain he wore around his neck, the shirt tucked into khakis.

  As I watched, I was completely amused to see this man flirting with our teacher. He didn't even try to hide it. I watched Miss R to see what her reaction to that would be. She was polite, but did not fall for the bait. I was proud for some reason. She handled herself so well as the guy made an ass out of himself.

  "Okay, time's up." The TA stood from the desk, walking away from the man to his stunned expression, and walked to the head of the first row. "Please pass your papers up to the front. Thank you." She collected them down the line, smiling at the person who handed her the stack. "Everyone, this is Dr. Sauder. He is the head of the Psychology department." She indicated the man who had stood from her desk. He smiled at everyone.

  "Hello, and welcome to Psych 101." Sauder said. "You are very lucky to have Dagny as your teacher. She's wonderful." He smiled at her. Yeah, I bet she is. I rolled my eyes. Finally the old man left and our TA stood in front of the class.

  "Okay, folks. Since this is our first quiz, I want to go over these with you. These aren't for a grade." A sigh of relief came from somewhere behind me. I grinned. "Yes, I heard that, so don't panic just yet. I just want to see where you all are at. So, shall we?" she smiled at the class again, she had such a great smile, and looked at a piece of paper she had in her hand. "Let's begin."

  The TA began to go over every question, asking different people what they thought the answer should be, or why they choose what they did. I watched her, watched her mannerisms, the way she looked and talked to people. I knew her, I knew the way she worked. But how? It was almost as if from a dream, a person I'd conjured up long ago but couldn't quite figure out where I'd left them. I had the distinct feeling that Dagny played some sort of role in my life. Damnit, who are you?

  "Okay, now hang on a second. Don't get frustrated just yet." I looked up to see the TA talking with a girl not far from me. "It's actually less complicated than you're making it out to be, I'm sorry, I haven't yet memorized names."

  "Kelly."

  "Kelly. Think about it for a second. What type of thought process would it be considered if someone were to go into a sudden rage?" Miss R's voice was calm and even, almost comforting.

  "This is driving me crazy. I read the text, Miss Robertson, I promise." Miss R smiled.

  "I believe you." The girl was quiet for a moment as she thought, you could almost see the wheels turning in her head as she concentrated.

  "I can't do this." The girl surprised us all by starting to get really angry at herself. "I'm going to flunk out of this class. I can't. I can't fail, Miss Robertson." The TA bent down over the girl's desk, hands on either side.

  "Kelly, you never fail if you quit. But then you never win, either."

  I stared, those words reverberating over and over again in my head. I saw the water the pool in our backyard, the orange floats on my arms…

  "…"But I can't, Dagny. I just can't." Dagny swam over to me, standing right in front of me, but bending down to look me in the eye. She brushed some hair off my face…

  "Honey, you never fail if you quit. But then you never win, either." She smiled at me, and I smiled, too. She had such a nice smile.

  "Dag." I muttered, looking at my old babysitter as she moved away from Kelly's desk to talk to another student. Holy shit! How could I have forgotten her? How could I have not recognized her? She had been such a profound influence on me even for the short time she was in my life.

  As I looked at her now I could see it all over again, and was shocked that I hadn't picked up on it the moment I saw her. I remembered when she had come by my parent's house to tell me she couldn't baby sit me anymore, that her parents were moving.

  "Want to go for a walk, Chase?" she had asked, standing just inside the front door of my house.

  "Sure!" I had been so excited. Just me and Dag, even on a day when my parents were home. She had come special to see me.

  Dagny had taken my hand and had lead me toward the park that was just across the street and down a bit. She had taken me to the swings, and started to push me in the seat.

  "I won't be your babysitter anymore, Chase." She said, her voice sad. I craned my neck around to look at her, dragging the toes of my tennis shoes in the dirt to stop my momentum.

  "What/ Why?" Fully stopped, I jumped out of the rubber seat.

  "Well, my dad got a new job. We have to go back home to Texas for a little while." She said, sitting in the dirt, not caring if her shorts got dirty. I loved that. I sat with her as we both made patterns with a stick.

  "So if it's only for a while, you'll be back, right?" I was filled with so much hope. Maybe I could have her as my babysitter again next summer.

  "Well, hon, I just don't know." She ran a hand through my hair, combing it with her fingers.

  "I don't want another babysitter!" I jumped up, throwing myself at her, her arms wrapping around my small body. I couldn't keep the tears inside. Dagny rubbed my back, whispering quiet words into my ear.

  "Are you okay?" I jerked in my seat, startled. I looked up into those same green eyes of my memory. She smiled as she sat in the empty desk in front of me. I looked around to see that the other people in the class were beginning to filter out. I looked back at my teacher.

  "Yeah. I'm fine." I felt really stupid. How long had I been drifting in my own thoughts.

  "I wondered where you had disappeared to there for a while." She smiled again. "It's been a long time, Chase. How have you been?" I stared at her, shocked.

  "You remember me?"

  "Of course. How could I forget Chase Marin?" she put her hand on my arm for a second. "So did you ever learn how to swim?" she smiled again. I shook my head sheepishly.

  "No. Never tried again." She leaned back from my desk, hand on her chest.

  "After all that time and effort that we put into it that year? Tsk, tsk." She smiled and stood. "Well, I must say I'm shocked and utterly pleased to have you in the class, Chase. It's wonderful to see you again, all grown up." Suddenly I felt very shy.

  "Thanks. You, too." With a small chuckle, she walked to her desk.

  PART 2

  I SAT ON MY bed with my back against the wall, knees up with a book resting on my thighs. I decided that perhaps I should actually read the text for Psych. The more I read the more interested I became. Why hadn't I ever taken any Psychology in high school? Then my mind drifted to my teacher. Hot damn, Dag. I couldn't believe it, nor could I stop the smile that began to spread across my face. My mind raced back to the perceptions of an eight year old girl who had a serious case of hero worship.

  I was not happy about this. I did not want a new babysitter, I liked the one I had had last summer and the summer before that, and the summer before that, just fine. I couldn't keep the frown off my face. It wasn't fair! Carla got to go to camp and I had to stay home with a stupid babysitter.

  "You'll like her, I promise." My mom said, sitting in the living room with the newspaper as I paced back and forth in front of her, my shoes thudding noisily on the wood floor as my lower lip popped out. The ultimate pouting position. "You might want to tuck that in, Chase. You'll trip over it." My mom said from behind her USA Today. I stomped to the foyer. She was supposed to be here any time. With that thought, the doorbell rang.

  "Would you get that, Chase?"

  "Yes." I muttered, opened the heavy front door. On the step stood a young girl with short blonde hair, sparkling green eyes and a smile.

  "Hi." She knelt down to my level. "Are you Chase?" I nodded. "Well it is certainly a pleasure to meet you. I'm Dagny." She held her hand out to me, I stared at it, then back at her. "Don't you want to shake it?" I shook my head, the lip coming out again. "That's okay. We'll try that one again later." My new babysitter stood, looking over my head. I looked back to see my mom standing behind me, then my eyes went right back to this strange girl.

  "Hello, Dagny. So nice to see you again. I'm so glad you could do this for us."

  "Thank you for asking, Mrs. Marin. I
was hoping to find a job this summer." Dagny looked down at me. My eyes had never left her even as she talked with my mother. "This little one doesn't seem so excited, though." She smiled. I glared.

  "Well, Chase doesn't like change." My mother explained as she ran her hands through my hair. "We had another babysitter for the past few years that she'd gotten to know and like, but unfortunately Mary had to quit to have a baby."

  "Oh. That's too bad." She smiled at me again. I didn't understand it. My glare didn't seem to do a thing. This only made me more mad. "That's okay, Chase. We'll have fun."

  I set the text book aside, realizing that reading was a lost cause right now. I smiled as I thought of myself back then. Quite the little shit. No wonder my parents did everything they could to stay out of the house. My father had worked nonstop, but my mother had the summers off as she worked for a school district. I often used to wonder why she didn't stay home with me. She played on golf leagues, went shopping with the girls often, and was a tireless photographer. I used to dream about going on a shoot with her. I imagined us in our Jeep Cherokee, driving along the highway, headed to the Grand Canyon. My mother had an entire portfolio of just that alone.

  But she never took me.

  I shook my head to clear it, picking up the text once more to try yet again. I began to read the chapter on sleep when someone knocked at my door. With a growl I tossed the book aside.

  "Damnit, what?"

  "It's Carrie." I stood from the bed, opened the door with a nice glare.

  "Shit, what did I do?" she asked, taking a step back from me.

  "You knocked." I grumbled, walking back into the room, my best friend following.

  "Hey, I could have just walked in." I glared over my shoulder, she smiled. "So what's up?" she plopped down on the bed next to me, the bed bouncing me slightly. I shrugged.

  "Attempting to read my Psych book." I grabbed it for a third time.

  "Oh. How's that going?"

  "It was going fine."

  "Oh. Oops. Sorry. You didn't meet me by the cafeteria, so I got worried. You okay?"

  "Ah, shit." I closed my eyes, slamming my fist into the comforter. "I'm sorry, Car." I looked at my friend. I had been so stunned after Psych I had forgotten all about it. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just spaced it."

  "Chase, we've met there everyday after class." She looked at me with accusing eyes.

  "I said I was sorry. Damn." Her dark red brows drew.

  "Hey, come on. What's wrong? Everything okay with you and Mike? Your folks? Mother Theresa?" she indicated the bed across the room. I grinned and nodded.

  "You'll never guess who my TA is in Psych." I looked at her, wondering if she'd even remember Dagny.

  She shrugged. "How many guesses do I get out of four billion people?"

  "Dagny." I said, waiting for the proverbial light bulb to go off. It didn't. "The ultimate babysitter?"

  "You have an old babysitter for your Psych teacher? God, your mom really is trying to keep tabs on you." I smacked her with a pillow.

  "Don't you remember? She took us swimming when we were eight, and I almost drowned? The summer your brother went off to the Army?" Ding. There it was.

  "Oh my god! What is she doing here?"

  "She's a grad student."

  "But I thought she had moved with her family to Texas or something." She leaned back against the wall. "Is she still hot? She was even then."

  "Eww." I looked at her. "You're lusting after a fourteen year old."

  "Yeah, but at the time I was eight, so it's okay." She smiled. "You know how I love those older women."

  "God you're horrible." I glanced out the window. The sun was falling.

  "I want to see her." I looked at her to see if she was serious. Yep. Should have figured. I shook my head.

  "No way. I must protect Dag from you, you living hormone."

  "Fuck off. You're just jealous."

  "Bite me."

  * * *

  The rest of the week flew by until it was finally Friday night, and time for Casually In Debt to make it debut at Gotfry's. I wanted to cry, pee my pants and laugh all at the same time. I would never forgive Mike for dragging me into this, and I told him so.

  "Nah, you'll thank me for this one day, Chase. Just wait. When you're a big star out there, you'll remember when." He smiled, kissing me softly.

  "I know. You're probably right, but I still hate you." He ruffled my hair, smacking me soundly on the ass.

  The place was the local hang out for college kids, having 18 and older nights three times a week gave the underclassmen a chance to have some fun, too. This, however, was not one of those nights, and I was glad. The last think I needed was to have all of my classmates see me make an ass out of myself and my boyfriend's band.

  Doug and Mike had come in early to set everything up. The other band members were steadily trickling in. During our rehearsals over the week I had met them all, a great group of guys, me the sole woman.

  "I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom." I tapped Mike on the back to get his attention from working on the sound system. He nodded, not looking at me. Pale and shaky, I headed to the ladies room.

  It was empty, and I was forever grateful. I went into a stall, closing the door as I sat on the closed toilet seat, my head in my hands. God, I was so nervous. Would I be hunted down if I split right now?

  I heard the door to the bathroom open, and someone was at the sink, washing their hands. With a sigh, I decided to go out and face the music. I grinned at my own joke, stopping short when I saw the back of short blonde hair. My eyes traveled to the mirror to see my Psych teacher looking at me. A smile spread across her face for just a moment before it slid off to be replaced with accusation.

  "Okay, Chase, now I know for fact that you are not twenty-one." I smiled, nodding as I stepped up to the sink next to hers and wet a paper towel.

  "Yeah, well when you're the entertainment you can get in at any age." I pressed the wetness to my face, trying to cool myself off.

  "Are you with the band?" I nodded. Dagny grabbed her own paper towel, dried her hands. I glanced down at them.

  "Do you always wash your hands before you go to the bathroom?" she smiled.

  "Ha ha. No, someone decided to spill a drink on me out there."

  "Oh, that wasn't very nice." I smiled, washing my own hands. She looked at me, shaking her head.

  "I can't believe you're standing here in front of me all grown up. I know I keep saying that, it's just amazing."

  "Tell me about it. Imagine my shock." I grinned. She looked at me from my boots up my jeans and tank, and finally my face.

  "I can't believe how tall you got. The last time I saw you I could use the top of your head for an armrest." I smiled, proud for some reason. I looked down at her.

  "I bet I could try that trick now." She glared then smiled.

  "I better go. My friends are going to wonder if I fell in. Good luck out there. A little birdy told me you guys are quite good." With one last smile, she walked out the door.

  I walked up the stairs to the stage, looking out at the dark bar. With the lights aimed at the stage, it was hard to see much of anything except for the smoke swirling in the beams of light. We hadn't been introduced yet, so I had a few seconds. I just prayed I'd remember the words to the songs.

  "Hello, everyone, and welcome to Gotfry's. We've got a special treat for you tonight. Casually In Debt, a local band will be rocking you tonight." The crowd in the bar cheered, whistles high pitched came at me from everywhere. "Okay, okay, hold it down. Save it for the lady." The announcer, bar tender Greg, smiled and winked at me. "Here's CID with their lead singer's debut with us tonight, Chase Marin." That was my cue. I stepped up to the mic, Melo in hand. The whistles starting all over again. "It's all yours. Good luck, guys." Greg turned to all the guys behind me and smiled as he headed off the stage. I looked out, shading my eyes with my hand, which was probably a mistake. When I cut the light I could see everyone staring at me expectantly. Gulp.